Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
