forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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