What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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