Im at strip club and am horny
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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