So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
