Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize