Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
