I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
