Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
MIDGETS
????
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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