It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
