the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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