Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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