I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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