we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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