I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
