I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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