I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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