I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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