With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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