i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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