i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
