Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
