That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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