she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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