everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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