Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize