In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
