We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize