The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize