just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize