You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
