I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
