apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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