I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
