worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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