GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
