Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
