The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
