Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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