I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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