girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
