I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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