You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
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