i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
