At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
