It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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