i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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