actually, I'm a sock model
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
