Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
