dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
