Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
