I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
