what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
