Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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