she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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