WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
