Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
