hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
