Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
