I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize