I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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