Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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