Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
